
After being surrounded by people who could not do anything without the input of others (i.e. “how should I tell the boss that I don’t like my job?” “where do I buy a newspaper” “do you think I'm fat? "Do my colors match?”), I’ve come to realize that it doesn’t matter what others think. It doesn’t matter at all!
It all comes down to this one realization: One day I am going to die.
Someday everyone around me including myself will die. Who knows how, when, or where, but when I'm lying on my death bed about to submit to eternity- how others perceived me isn’t going to be on my mind, it’s going to be what I've done, what I didn’t do and why and how.
It’s not going to matter if the lady at the Wal-Mart service booth hates me because I'm being annoying when returning something. It’s not going to matter if my first five boyfriends dumped me. It’s not going to matter if my friend from the fifth grade thought I was fat. It’s not going to matter.
What will matter is if I am self-satisfied, if I learned what I should have from the situations in my life and used them as tools to better myself. I cannot fault myself for trying and trying to improve myself. I can only congratulate myself for doing what most people are too scared to do which is be constructive through criticism.
I sometimes think of all the time and energy I waste wondering what others think of me when I could use this time to make myself better by my own terms and means. Self-esteem starts with the “self”, not others. If I want to, I can do it. Those who think they can’t are just too lazy to try.
After all, seeking continual external validation and asking other people to make decisions or reach conclusions for you is an overt sign of laziness! It does take effort and time and above all, organization to sum up all the plusses and minuses and come to a conclusion / make a decision. This is similar to leaning to drive! You could depend on your parents and friends to drive you to the places you need and want to go or you could get lessons, take the drivers test, get a license (and a car), and drive yourself. The latter is more rewarding and definitely more pleasureful. Hmm, this reminds me of that saying from the bible: "Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime!"
• define a problem.
• identify all of the options for resolving the program.
• evaluate all of the options identified.
• select the most effective options for your situation.